Volume #2 - You're ENOUGH!

HI THERE! 

Repeat with me:

“I’m ENOUGH, and I have nothing to prove.”

As someone that used to believe that curly hair wasn’t pretty enough - I used to have my hair straight since I was 14 years old. I carried my straightener everywhere to have my hair "perfect." In 2018, I realized that I was losing hair, which was not growing for a long time, and I decided to cut it and make the transition.

I did feel prettier with my straight hair, and my transition was about accepting myself more than about my hair growing.

In 2022, I moved to NYC and got a blow-dry by the amazing Oscar Cruz. Afterward, I went for drinks with some male friends (I used to date one of them), and they ALL said,

"You look better with straight hair."

WOW! At that moment, I was shocked because they had the audacity and entitlement to comment something like that about how I looked. I felt exposed to people I owe nothing to and that they don’t know if this could impact my self-confidence. As a Puerto Rican, I wanted to say, “¿Quién carajo tú te crees?”(Google translate this - you will laugh!). But I straightforwardly said, "You're wrong. I don't look better with straight hair, and you should never say something like this to another person."

Before 2018, I would have actually changed it back to straight because I used to allow society or beauty standards to define how I felt about myself.

ENOUGH - I’m ENOUGH!

 I don’t need anyone’s validation.

As this is not just a beauty standard but how a professional is evaluated, read more about the CROWN Act to end hair discrimination in the workplace nationwide here.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking or even saying out loud?

• "I'm not pretty if I'm not wearing X or looking like Y"

• "I can't do it; I'm not ready, or I don't have the skills"

These are limiting beliefs like the one I had about my hair - which is a state of mind or anything you believe to be true that no longer serves you and, thus, holds you back. (Read more about limiting beliefs from Mindvalley here)

It will be hard to feel better, improve our health, and make more money if we don't believe in ourselves and let others define our state of mind. And don't get me wrong - it's not an easy journey to deconstruct what holds you back and advocate for yourself.

LET’S GET TO WORK - HOMEWORK!

We can also leverage others’ positive feedback about us to deconstruct limiting beliefs:

1. Do a quick reflection - What’re your top 3 strengths?

2. Ask 3-5 people to share 3 strengths about you.

3. Write those words down about yourself.

4. When you feel down or lost, go back to those words and remember that you're enough, capable, and resilient.

P.S. You can use this exercise for your next performance review, LinkedIn Profile "About Me" section, and more.

To explore more about how to leverage this for your personal brand, Sign up!

Cliqué - Personal Brand Chat

May 11th at 6:30pm ET

^{20 minutes to get tips and tricks to build your brand.}

If you want to work on your limiting beliefs but feel they're too strong, I highly recommend exploring therapy with a professional. We all carry traumas that can influence how we feel about ourselves. If you have a recommendation for a good psychologist or psychiatrist, please share it. I will make this list accessible to all subscribers.

RECOMMENDATIONS CORNER!

📚 Book: The book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani will help you to break your limiting beliefs and understand your priorities.

🎙️ Podcast: My highlight for the Podcast 2 Ways to Stop Anxious Thoughts & 3 Steps to Love Yourself and Build More Confidence by Jay Shetty is learning to be alone and how to enjoy activities by yourself.

📱Instagram Account - @the.holisitic.psychologist shares much content to heal + consciously create a new version of yourself.

Next week - we will cover wellness and how to take that first step to care about your body and health.

By the way, what means cliqué? Cliqué comes from the word clique, but instead of being an exclusive like-minded group, it aims to be an inclusive like-minded community.

P.S. My opinions are my own.

Cliqué by Yane

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