Volume #5 - The one about Dating

HI THERE!

^{[Excuse the delay, I was falling for someone, and it didn’t work out.]}

After a long time, I was feeling it. I met someone in a bar I never expected to connect with as he wasn’t my usual type. But there was something, and somehow we went from dancing salsa to a first date. In the beginning, as Serena Kerrigan says, I was trying it for the plot, but little did I know I was falling for him.

I realized this when I changed multiple times before deciding what to wear or smiling like a weirdo when getting a text from him.

The weeks passed, and my feelings were getting stronger. After what I felt was an amazing date, I asked the question, “What is this?”. He answered…

-MAYBE-

Yes! It felt like a BOMB just exploded. I was vulnerable, honest, and open, but that didn’t mean I was getting the answer I wanted to hear. Because you can control 99%, but the 1% has a lot of power too.

After he said, “Maybe,” I replied…

“I’m leaving today with a ‘NO’ because a maybe is not enough to stay.”

A quote in my Instagram feed resonated with me: "I was the whole package, in the wrong place." It felt like this described my situation perfectly.

It was painful; it took me 24 hrs to open the laptop and finish this volume - that, coincidently, I chose to write about dating weeks ago, and now I was facing one of the biggest fears when you expose yourself - rejection.

But readers, rejection = redirection…

Even if it feels like a bad romcom (feel free to imagine me with Ben & Jerry’s pint watching awful love movies), most of us want to find that person to share our lives with.

After breaking up a 6 years relationship, I moved to one of the worst cities to be a single person looking for your match. But I’m not giving up; I will continue to go out there and expose myself. Because this time, I was rejected, but I have also rejected others who saw me as the whole package. Quoting Serena,

“We shouldn’t take rejection personally.”

So, after all, maybe we will end up alone? YES! So let’s keep trying, losing, and feeling. Because it felt good to like someone, even if now I’m saying goodbye to what I wanted it to be, and as a friend told me:

"If we look on the bright side - I find it super beautiful to see you in love with the qualities that you have developed more strongly in the last year:

Entrepreneurial, financially smart, wealthy in health, body, and your support network".

Even if it didn’t work, I enjoyed meeting someone that seemed to have everything I was looking for, and life can change in a heartbeat. I coincidentally met him less than a month ago and already felt something.

In the meantime, we need to enjoy the process and prioritize ourselves…

Because if you don’t prioritize yourself, get to know who you are, what you want, and what you deserve, you will not be able to share your life with someone else and settle for less. Dating is not an easy journey; you need to be ready to lack connection, face rejection, and deal with heartbroken days.

Some activities to enjoy the process…

1. 🗒️ Open notes on your phone and write down the things you love to do: music, food, activities, books, art, etc. Remember the note when you enjoy a new activity and write it down. The goal is to know what gives you energy and potentially share those activities with your partner.

TIP: Some people meet their person while doing something they enjoy.

2. ✍🏾 Brainstorm your future self: Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years? How do you want to feel: love, rich, adventurous? What are your top priorities?

TIP: Using the book The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani, you can find a list of the pillars and priorities. This will help you to not fall for everyone but for those who share the same values as you.

3. 🧘🏾‍♀️ Start dating yourself: Get out there by doing the activities you noted down in step #1 and based on your priorities from step #2.

TIP: Have a weekly me-time; you deserve it.

At the end of the day, you can do all these activities and still be single. True happiness lies in the acceptance that you can be single for the rest of your life and be totally fine with that. Only then will you learn to share and cherish true love because you don’t depend on it.

RECOMMENDATIONS CORNER!

📚 Book: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman will help you understand how people can love, how you love, and even the type of love you want.

🎙️ Podcast: 4 Phases of Love We Go Through in Our Lifetime & How to Attract the Love and Relationships You Desire by Jay Shetty is great for learning to be present through the dating phases.

📱Instagram Account - @wetheurban has inspired me many times when needed - one of my favorite posts from the says…

Get out there 💫 

P.S. My opinions are my own.

Cliqué by Yane

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